My How Quickly It Flies...

So four years ago today I married my best friend. And we are even better friends now than we were then, which I didn't think was possible. And, yes, I know how sappy that sounds, but there it is, the truth. What can I say, sometimes the truth is sappy.

So here is the not so sappy part. Up until three days ago I had hoped to give my best friend the best anniversary present EVER! (at least for us at this time in our lives). But then I got my period, and well there went my present. Not pregnant. Again. I knew this was coming, I mean I took a test on Saturday and failed. But, if you've ever spoken honestly with a woman trying to make a mini-you-me combo, you know how completely irrational, and crazy we are. So of course the negative test meant absolutely nothing, because there was a slim chance it could be a false negative, right? I told you, we are irrational. And though I desperately cling to this crazy hope, that Saturday I was sad.

Will this ever happen for us? What is wrong with my body? How the hell do high school girls make this seem so easy and accidental?!?! And as I was about to be consumed by the dark thought that we may never get our dream, my best friend made me laugh. He, of course, had no idea what crazy thoughts I was having in my mind. He was just being himself. And himself makes me laugh, and wonder at humanity, and ponder at how wonderfully and beautifully made we truly are.

That is when I realized that if our future holds only the two us alone, that that is enough, more than enough. I love love love my husband. These last four years have been better than all the 25 I spent not married to him. I am truly happy with our life, our home, our dogs, our life style. And he is wrapped up in every single element. I am blessed, because I met someone who intrigues me and who for some odd reason finds me interesting too. From each other we learn and grow. With each other we overcome struggles and trials. He makes me a better person (again with the sappy) and I truly wish everyone could spend time with him because he has a way of rubbing off on folks. This world would be a way better place if people were a little more like him.

So what did I end up giving him as a gift anyway? Nothing. Not a thing. We're broke. Broke and happy. And blessed.

4 Days of Singleness

Last night I went to Disneyland with Jonathan. I needed it. We shouldn't have gone because his family had just flown in and were visiting and we hadn't seen them all day. But I was panicking. I am getting married in 4 days, and well the thing is, I hate change. And this is going to be a big change. And I am scared. There I said it.

So I needed to take an evening to be with Jonathan at the "Happiest Place on Earth", and remember how much I have been longing for this day. And be reminded of how lucky and blessed I have been to have a wonderful person want to spend the rest of his life with me. It was a very needed night out, and it was wonderful!

We watched the "Parade of Dreams". I have seen it many times before, but this time we watched it from a raised sitting area near It's a Small World, quite comfy really. I waved at Belle, Ariel, and Simba, and sang along with the beautifully dressed dancers "Welcome to our Family time, welcome to our brotherly time..." And it rushed over me, as if I was a five year old girl being swept away by the magic of it all, this is my family time. Time for my old family, time for my soon-to-be family, and time to start my new family. It's this last family that I am most excited about. I am so happy to finally have a home, and that home is wherever Jonathan and I are. And maybe in the future we will add some little ones to that home, like a corgi, or a beagle. And I am so excited for that. And just like that the panic dissipated (though it keeps creeping back randomly throughout the day).

This has been such a long process. It was a year ago that Jonathan finally asked me to marry him. We had been dating for 4 years at that point and I was READY! I had just moved into a house with 8 other girls (eek!) , strangers to me, and had been feeling like an outsider. They all were very kind, and I have since come to love them all so much! But seeing as how they were all students with the wacky schedule students are bound to have, it was a rare occasion if we were ever all home at the same time. But for some reason on this particular night, all 8 girls were home, and staying up and waiting for me to come home. And waiting to see if Jonathan finally did it...And he did!!!! And there was much laughter, and smiles, and giggles, and screaming. And for the first time we took our house portrait:

Aren't they all beautiful! And yes Jonathan is in the portrait, because he is the honorary house-mate/handyman. My love! Isn't he cute!

Okay, so that was a happy night for us! There was much rejoicing, merriment, and general holiday cheer! And here we are again, two winks away from Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I am going to be married in 4 days!!! I can hardly believe that it has been a year. It went by so fast. So much has happened in that time. I am sure that in another year I will be saying the same thing.

So here's to another year, to the adventures before me, the fear within me, and the blessings of love, in all it's faces and forms!

And here is to silly pictures! To Christmas trees! To hugging arms! And to you for reading all the way through this! Next time I post I will be a married woman...