Not Dead, but Not Exactly Thriving

So the tomatoes are still sprawling, but some of the leaves are starting to turn brown and die. Not exactly sure why? But even though there are dead leaves, there is still fruit. I will have to wait to see what happens.

Oh, look! There is a red one. How exciting! Even if the leaves around it are shriveling and falling to the floor.

Which reminds me of the words of my mother-in-law. While showing her my garden, I commented on how I may not be able to count this as a success exactly, but it is better than last year, and who knows, maybe by the time I am 50 I will finally be able to support a garden that is beautiful and bountiful. To this she responded by recounting how her own mother-in-law tried throughout her 80+ years of life to keep a plant alive to no avail. I’m pretty sure that story was meant to encourage me, I think…

In the meantime, her are the Mr. Okra, and Ms. Strawberry, thriving.

I think this might actually be my first okra for harvest. So happy they survived the transplant.

Maybe I Didn’t Expect You to Last

Not this long. You did look healthy and strong, but so did many others before you.

These are my tomatoes. They are out of control. Which is an entirely different type of problem than any I have ever faced with gardening. I am used to caterpillars eating my crops, fungus taking my plants, and death by dehydration (or over-hydration). But now I face crops being suffocated out by the success of my tomatoes. You can’t see it in this picture, but underneath this tomato plant are small okras (planted by seed). Remember I showed you them here? Anyway, it is time for me to move them, or else say a final prayer for them.

So with the help of my wonderful husband, I have made a new home for my Mr. Okra, Ms. Strawberry, and Mr. Bell Pepper. They are quite happy to be out of that old crowed place.

Before I go, I wanted to show you this. I am not sure what it is. I planted cayenne pepper seeds in this pot, but I have no idea if this is cayenne or a weed. I wait in anticipation of a pepper, but if it is a weed, it will the healthiest weed there ever was. Time will tell…

Old Yarn, New Trick

Me and crochet will always be friends, always. But I have to admit that I have known for sometime now that I was going to need to step into the world of knitting. There are just so many more patterns for knitting. So why have I been dragging my feet? Well, two needles seems harder to me than one hook. But it is time. My curiosity has won over my nerves *Ahem-laziness-Ahem*.

Here before you I present my first project.

The beautiful little girl modeling this hat makes my work look way better than it actually is (Thanks baby Ruth, I love you so much!). I have since made 2 others like this and each one is better than the last, but of course I forgot to take pictures of those, so you’ll just have to take my word on that.

A Moment of Transparency

John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans". Those words haunt me now. I recently found out that having a baby will not be easy for me. And my plans of finishing school and starting a family, you know doing it the "right" way, was never something I had the power to plan for in the first place. Isn't that frustrating?!? This whole time I was planning, because that is who I am by nature, and little did I know I was wasting time, energy, and worse yet opportunity. But here I stand on this side of the truth, looking back does me no good. I can't change it.

But looking forward seems to do no good either. I walk into stores, past baby clothes then my eyes uncontrollably well up with tears. This activity, which was harmless before learning the truth, now is painful. I admit that before, when I would walk past the tiniest, cutest clothes there was longing, but it was assuaged by the thought that "soon, soon, my time will come". Now the thought is "will I, can I...if..."

I know that this is not the end of my family opportunities. Adoption was always part of the plan. I think I am just mourning the loss of this part of the plan, the dream. There is something primal about the desire to bear a child. It is irrational and so powerful. And that is why, I think, this is affecting so much.

The news I got from the doctor was unofficial, and I have to admit that I hesitate to take the tests to find out officially. I don't think I could take that now, not just yet. And I am still hanging, clinging to the words and hope of my mother, "Mija, your time will come, God knows". Yes, the Great Mystery knows, and meanwhile I will walk past the tiny dresses and jumpers quickly, narrowly escaping a potentially embarrassing scene, living my life outside of the perfect plan.

The Part Where I Drag My Feet

So I have finished assembling the my second granny-square baby blanket. This one went faster since I already had an idea of what I was doing. I couldn't find the same exact yarn colors. Don't you hate it when that happens? So the colors are slightly different, but that just makes it one-of-a-kind, right?

A few weeks ago I went to a Stitch and Bitch with my friend Katie. It was fun gathering with women, needles, hooks, and yarn. There is something about working the yarn in, over, through, and out that is soothing to the soul. As the yarn unwinds, so does the mind. It is the weirdest thing- that I can be so relaxed while being so productive. But it's true. There is nothing like whipping out a beanie or a scarf when I am stressed out. And the final product is so satisfying, so rewarding, until...

You flip it over. Ugh! Tails!!!! I hate hiding tails. This topic came up at the Stitch and Bitch. We all shared the same sentiment. Someone thought it would be a great business to have a place to send your nearly-finished work and have some one finish it for you. But I started crocheting to solve my gift-giving-on-a-budget dilemma. So paying someone to finish my work defeats my purpose. But if anyone out there is bored and has an odd love of hiding these rascals

We should join forces. We'd make a perfect team :) Until then, I drag my feet. Maybe tomorrow I'll pull out the needle and get to work, maybe...

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells,

And cockle shells,

And pretty maids all in a row

The "pretty maids" are Okra we planted from seed. It is so exciting to see them pushing up through the dirt.

We lost one of the Julia Child tomatoes, but the other tomatoes have started to perk up, which is encouraging.

It is starting to get warmer, and we'll have to see how the plants hold up in the SoCal heat, coupled with my unintentional neglect. But today, they are lovely. Yes, today was a good day.

The Plants

So after we got the soil ready, Mr. J built some raised beds for me and we filled them with compost and topsoil. And it looked like this:

We went to the Fullerton Arboretum and bought some tomatoes, then to Lowe's for the rest (strawberries, squash, swiss chard, onion, okra, and peppers). I tried to give myself a better chance by buying most of the rest as healthy plants. We'll see if it works.

NOTE: It is integral to make sure you have a trusty wagon to help in the planting process. I'm pretty sure all the experts say this...somewhere....probably.

So then we planted the plants and seeds in the raised beds and viola!

It looks promising here doesn't it? Sadly it didn't staying looking like this. Some stuff is holding up alright. Some stuff ahem, cough, cough*Amish Paste tomatoes, squash, and Julia Child tomatoes* are not. I'll keep you updated.

I remember hearing once that the prerequisite to having a pet is to have a plant and make sure you don't kill it. Then you move on to a dog or cat and if you don't kill that you can have a kid. Let's just say, I may be destined to aunt-hood for the rest of my life. Things might just be better that way. At least I can't seriously damage anyone...I hope. I promise not to over-water my nieces and nephew, well I might over-water them with loooove *wink*.

I wanted to show you the detail of our raised beds. The tutorial we watched suggested laying down wood chips between the beds, but we didn't have any. We did have some bricks that the previous owners left behind, and we did have rocks (that I had sifted out in the previous post). And we did this with them

And this

And this

If nothing else, at least I made it look pretty, so maybe these plants will want to stick around and bask in this luxurious place. Wouldn't you?