Life in a Fish Bowl: Reviews.

Last week I had my evaluation. All employees at my work have one. It's a time where your supervisor tells you how you have improved and how you can improve, then lets you know how much of a raise you get, if any. Our performance is rated on a 5 point system, 5 being perfect. Since no one is perfect, no one gets 5 points EVER. So the best we can shoot for is 4. This must be maddening to the perfectionists out there. Last year I was so upset by my score. I had only been there for a few months with pretty much no training, and I accidentally transferred 2 calls to the wrong person and for that I was docked. I earned a pathetic 2.6 points. And this really irritated me, for a long time. This year I am happy to say that I improved, I am now at 3 points. Big whoop!

Everyone assures me that this is a respectable score. You see 4s only are given out very rarely, and no one ever gets a 5, so 3 is practically a perfect score. Now I ask you, does this make any sense? Aren't we just asking our employees to be mediocre? Aren't we telling them that they will never be perfect, and that great is unrealistic, so good is good enough. What it all really comes down to is money. If I am given a high score, then the bank concedes that I am a valuable employee. If that is true then, I deserve to be compensated accordingly, which translates to $$$. So in an effort to save the company some money, the scale has been shifted slightly, 3 being good, 4 being for the exceptional employee, you know, that person who works 12-hour days, never takes a lunch and comes in on weekends. In this way we are trained to be happy with our meager points, and accept the lie that we aren't mediocre, but rather good or even great, though our raises reflect otherwise. Meanwhile the accepted fact is that everyone gets a 3, so it really doesn't matter if you are decent, okay, good or great because each of these is rewarded with a 3.

All this silliness. Corporate America, isn't it grand! And I am such a sheep to it all. I was happy that I improved, "Yeah! I'm a 3. I'm special!" But now that I think about it, the review was pointless, I didn't learn anything, except that I am better at transferring phone calls (well after a few months of self-training and trial and error, I hope I have learned how to do at least that!) and I got a small raise. I am grateful for the raise, I really am. And honestly, I should be. The truth is, they only need me to man the phones, and if not for that, they could do away with my position. I know this, and I was also reminded of it during my review. It makes me laugh, that it was brought up at all, but there you go. "You are a 3, you are great, btw, we don't really need you. Did I mention you are great?"

So all this rambling, has lead me to really consider my career. Are there areas that I excel in? Areas where my talents, skills, and passions all combine resulting in a more efficient and productive employee/career. Can I find a place where I might be more useful? More relevant? I am not sure if that place exists. Perhaps in the scale of things, that kind of job is a 5. No one EVER gets a 5, but I gotta reach for a 4, because a 3 just isn't cuttin' it!