I'm Back!

Well, I have been a married woman for a whole month! It went by so fast. I don't even know where to begin. In a nutshell the wedding was fabulous! So many people helped make it all come together, and the result was wonderful! It was better than I expected. It took nine months to plan and prepare and then it was all over in a blink of an eye. I seriously hardly remember a thing, thankfully so many people took pictures so there is proof that the day really did happen.

While we were on the honeymoon (more on that in a moment) it took me a while to accept that it really was over. All the planning, and gluing, paper cutting, trinket buying, list making, sewing, shopping, and packing was over. All that time, all that work, and in a heartbeat it was done. I know everything looked beautiful, and all that work came to fruition, but there was a sort of shock that came once the storm was over. I can't explain the feeling...I was happy, but in shock. Then last week I found out that our wedding might be featured in The Knot So Cal edition for Fall/Winter 08!!! It was like God looked down on me, and wanted to let me know that He saw all the work I did, and He thought is was lovely. I know this is silly, because I don't need a magazine to say they liked my wedding in order for me to know that, but it was a sort of wonderful surprise, and affirmation. So look for it next year, I know I will!






Now to the honeymoon. I won't go into the intimate details, but there a few things I can share. We started our honeymoon by going to Disneyland. It was so much fun! We wore our complementary "Just Married" pins from Disneyland, and I had on the Bride ears, and Jonathan had on the top hat. All the cast members who noticed our pins congratulated us as we walked around the park. It was so much fun!

Then we left for Portland on Monday. It was a holiday so the airport was packed, and we missed our flight :( so we got a ride from my mom to LAX and caught a plane leaving that afternoon. When we got into Oregon it was raining, and that pretty much set the tone for the entire trip.

Most of our stay was at a resort in Depoe Bay, Oregon. It was beautiful, rainy, but beautiful. The first two days were actually the sunniest, but those were also the days that I slept the most. I think my body was trying to make up for the months and months of deprived sleep the wedding caused. It was so nice to just close my eyes and not get up until I felt well rested, which often meant 11am. Jonathan said he was surprised by how much I slept. I am usually an early riser, and quite the morning person.

Our goal was to do 2 things: 1. golf, and 2. hike, things that we could not do in the rain, and since it rained the rest of our stay, well we did neither. But we did drive up the coast, to visit Tillamook and the cheese factory there (Tillamook, which will forever be called F-ing Tillamook, ask me why later). We drove to Astoria, where Kindergarten Cop, and The Goonies were filmed. I actually saw the three rocks that are used as the map in the Goonies!!! So cool. We also visited an art gallery in Astoria that was really cool! Astoria is a cute, hip kinda place. I would love to visit it in the summer.

On our last day in Depoe Bay we decided to visit the local spa. It was AMAZING!! So classy and fancy, I have never done anything like that before. We both got a one hour body massage, another thing I had never done before. They massaged my butt! Ha! That was awkward, but surprisingly relaxing. Not sure if I would do that again...who am I kidding, of course I would! The best part of the trip to the spa, was the relaxation room. There I sat in a hot jacuzzi in a room that could only be described as tranquil and calming. Sitting in the jacuzzi, I stared out the glass wall that faced the bay, which offered the most amazing view of nature. However, the day we were at the spa was also the day a storm visited Depoe Bay. So there I am sitting in tranquility, completely calm and relaxed, while gazing at an angry storm happening before my very eyes; trees violently jerking with the wind, and birds clinging on for dear life trying hard not to be taken away, an angry grey sky pounding on the bay. It seriously could have been a postcard. "Find comfort and peace, from the storms of life. Visit Salishan Day Spa".

From Depoe Bay we headed to Portland. The ride there was beautiful. There were so many colors. And even a red barn!

We stayed in the Alphabet District of Portland, which was very cute, and reminded me of Old Town Pasadena. It rained wile we were there, and though that threw a wrench in most of our day plans, if not for the rain we would not have had the illusion of light dusting the sidewalks and streets. Beautiful. It was truly a wonderful trip.

The farther away I get from the trip the more I miss it. Waking up late and snuggling with my husband. Taking our time to get up, making breakfast and coffee. Exploring towns with no real plan but to take it all in. Just walking hand in hand and breathing in the cool crisp air... It really was a lovely time.

I am glad to be back, and though it is taking longer than I anticipated to get used to being married, I can honestly say I love it, and I am happy. Life is good.

4 Days of Singleness

Last night I went to Disneyland with Jonathan. I needed it. We shouldn't have gone because his family had just flown in and were visiting and we hadn't seen them all day. But I was panicking. I am getting married in 4 days, and well the thing is, I hate change. And this is going to be a big change. And I am scared. There I said it.

So I needed to take an evening to be with Jonathan at the "Happiest Place on Earth", and remember how much I have been longing for this day. And be reminded of how lucky and blessed I have been to have a wonderful person want to spend the rest of his life with me. It was a very needed night out, and it was wonderful!

We watched the "Parade of Dreams". I have seen it many times before, but this time we watched it from a raised sitting area near It's a Small World, quite comfy really. I waved at Belle, Ariel, and Simba, and sang along with the beautifully dressed dancers "Welcome to our Family time, welcome to our brotherly time..." And it rushed over me, as if I was a five year old girl being swept away by the magic of it all, this is my family time. Time for my old family, time for my soon-to-be family, and time to start my new family. It's this last family that I am most excited about. I am so happy to finally have a home, and that home is wherever Jonathan and I are. And maybe in the future we will add some little ones to that home, like a corgi, or a beagle. And I am so excited for that. And just like that the panic dissipated (though it keeps creeping back randomly throughout the day).

This has been such a long process. It was a year ago that Jonathan finally asked me to marry him. We had been dating for 4 years at that point and I was READY! I had just moved into a house with 8 other girls (eek!) , strangers to me, and had been feeling like an outsider. They all were very kind, and I have since come to love them all so much! But seeing as how they were all students with the wacky schedule students are bound to have, it was a rare occasion if we were ever all home at the same time. But for some reason on this particular night, all 8 girls were home, and staying up and waiting for me to come home. And waiting to see if Jonathan finally did it...And he did!!!! And there was much laughter, and smiles, and giggles, and screaming. And for the first time we took our house portrait:

Aren't they all beautiful! And yes Jonathan is in the portrait, because he is the honorary house-mate/handyman. My love! Isn't he cute!

Okay, so that was a happy night for us! There was much rejoicing, merriment, and general holiday cheer! And here we are again, two winks away from Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I am going to be married in 4 days!!! I can hardly believe that it has been a year. It went by so fast. So much has happened in that time. I am sure that in another year I will be saying the same thing.

So here's to another year, to the adventures before me, the fear within me, and the blessings of love, in all it's faces and forms!

And here is to silly pictures! To Christmas trees! To hugging arms! And to you for reading all the way through this! Next time I post I will be a married woman...

The Rain of Forgiveness

Recently the sky has looked like it was going to rain. I mean the sky looks pregnant with rain, and is seconds away from giving birth and ... and… and nothing. It is as though the sky is taunting us. Showing us something we need but can’t have.

Now when it comes down to it, I am a southern California girl through and through. I enjoy my fair share of rain, but I am not one of those people who claim to LOVE rain, who get all dramatic when the sky turns grey and act as though it is the perfect time to run outdoors and frolic in a field. But rather, I am one of those folks who enjoys the smell of wet asphalt, that nostalgic smell that recalls days in grammar school playing dodge ball during recess, I breath in that familiar smell and smile, and there might even be the slightest bounce in my step for those 60 seconds it takes me to walk from my work building to my car. And that’s all I need. 60 seconds.

I much rather observe the rain from indoors, nice and dry. I might open a window or sit under a covered awning to take in the scents that only come when it rains. Those smells that comfort you and reassure that mother nature is cleaning house and taking care of you in the process.

Now maybe this last metaphor is best understood by those of us who have lived in southern California. Those of us who have see the sky in a brownish tint. We, who have scanned the horizon and witnessed some of God’s magnificent design in nature and have understood the desire of many Americans to migrate to sunny southern California, only to have the glory of this place marred by the inches and inches of brown haze looming over our cities, even hiding our hills and mountains, as if to say “How mighty are you really?”

Oh that damn smog! I don’t know why, but it seems like this year more than any other, I have noticed it. I am sure it has always been there. But I never paid attention. For some reason God has opened my eyes to it and it makes me sad. And I feel guilty daily, as I make my 65 minute commute from home to work and back. Yes, I am carpooling, but I am still contributing to the smog. And there is no way out of it that I can see. It makes me sick. I must admit, every time I gaze at the horizon, I am tempted to hold my breath, and protect my lungs from that filth. I don’t take a breathe again until I look away; out of sight out of mind.

And I write all this to say, that recently it has looked like it is going to rain. And this year more than ever, I am yearning for that rain, that cleansing and forgiving rain. This is one of the worst droughts California has had in a while, and it is as if Earth knows it, and mother earth is withholding her forgiveness, waiting for us to wake up and realize how we are torturing the earth. This place where Christ walked, where God set foot upon, where God let the fullness of his imagination run wild. It’s as though she is waiting for a contrite and repentant spirit before she pours forgiveness and life down.

I want to make peace with the earth, but I feel so helpless. I want to be a good steward of this kingdom He left us, but I feel trapped in this capitalistic world. I cry, full of shame and guilt. Lord when you died, and you forgave us, did you forgive us of even this, the defilement of your land? May your GRACE stretch out even here, on this bit of soil I call home.

Life In a Fish Bowl

It has been more than a year since I have wanted to start this blog. It has also been more than a year since I began my life in corporate America. Ahh the good life...

I have decided to start a chain of entries about my observations, and experiences as an Administrative Assistant (that is, a secretary), and they will be titled "Life in a Fish Bowl".

"Why's that?" did you ask? Well, it is simple really. I am the admin. assistant, so I sit at the front of the office, I have no proper cubicle, and thus no semblance of privacy. Absolutely everything I do is visible to everyone. And all the looky-lous love it! Anything on my desk is fair game. Please feel free to pick up my personal items. I don't mind, really. No no, I wasn't in the middle of writing a personal email, go ahead and read from over my shoulder, in fact, why don't you just read it aloud so all can hear. And don't worry I hate the concept of personal space, in fact I love it when you come and rearrange the items on my desk. It's like my very own game of hide-n-seek. What fun!

And so it goes...my life up here at the receptionist desk is like a little fish in a fish bowl. No privacy, no personal space, crystal clear glass inviting the world to come and peer into everything I do because they have nothing better to do. Isn't it great!

Like the other day, I had a pile of mortgage industry newspapers on my desk. I was gathering them to send them to another department for a big-wig on another floor to read and pass on when he was threw with them, when a co-worker walks up to drop off some paperwork for me and notices a picture of GW on the front of one of the newspapers.

"Oh is this an old paper?" she says, seconds away from picking the paper up and taking it to her desk.

"No, it isn't a newspaper. It is a mortgage paper " I say half tempted to swat her hand away. Apparently she must have mistaken a newspaper on my desk as hers.

But I can understand, because everyone else in the office seems to confuse my stuff that is in my area as theirs all the time, and so it would make perfect sense to touch, grab and take whatever it is from my desk. Please, help yourself. Don't mind me. I'll just keep swimming around in my fish bowl...