Bikini Regret

So I have to tell you that I have never worn a bikini in my entire life, never. I just get too embarrassed. I mean a bikini is more racy than some of my lingerie. Seriously! So anyway, when I was preparing for my trip to Hawaii I went on a hunt for a bathing suit and the options were limited. I could either wear an old lady's swim suit, you know the ones with the skirt bottoms to "hide" a woman's larger bottom, like those even work, or I could to wear a skanky bikini. Such a hard choice, either prematurely old, or hoochie... I decided to live on the edge and go hoochie. Bad choice.

You see there are parts of my body that have never seen the sun, never! So when I went outside in my bikini those parts of my body protested. In short some parts of my body are now as red as a lobster, like my tummy.

I was only outside for about 30 minutes, (this is the view from the backyard, could you resist it?) and I thought I was in the shade! Sheesh! You would never know that I was Mayan, the way I burn. Or maybe the only thing Mayan about me is my height. Whatever it is, the lesson learned is that I should have gone with the prematurely old look. Oh the price of vanity- a red tender tummy.