Meatless Meals: Update

I have been having fun experimenting with my dinners recently. I already had a vegan cook book, Student’s Go Vegan, which I acquired when I decided to go dairy-free almost a year ago. But I never fully explored the recipes, until now.

Displayed for your drooling pleasure, is a BBQ tempeh sandwich topped with fried red peppers and onions, and fresh parsley, a side of sautéed spinach, and a spring mix salad with strawberries, nuts, and carrots, topped with a soy based dressing from Trader Joe's. No dairy or meat were harmed in the making of this meal. :oP

Tempeh, and tofu are great sources of protein for vegetarians. You are probably familiar with tofu, and truth be told it isn’t my favorite, but I am learning new ways to cook it that aren’t bad (tofu scrambled eggs are quite yummy). But you may not have heard of tempeh. It is a grainy soy based patty. It takes on the flavoring of any seasoning or sauce. I used BBQ sauce to season the tempeh here, and it truly made a delicious BBQ sandwich. And you know I felt great about myself after that meal! I think I can do this. I like the challenge anyway.

Wedding Details

Four months, and three days ago I married a charming and handsome man. Way out of my league! But I ain't gonna let him in on that. *wink* Anyway, he was kind enough to not only let me runaway with the wedding details, but he actually helped make most of them happen.

My wedding was a poster child for the D.I.Y. community. Well maybe that is an exaggeration. I didn't make my own dress, nor the dresses of my bridesmaids, but I made A LOT of things! There were two main reason for this: 1. We were on a budget and this was one way to cut costs, 2. I am pretty picky and finding things I liked became a nightmare. So after making the decision to go crafty for the big day, I went out to the local bookstore bought the current issue of Martha Stewart Weddings, (actually my friend Maria got it for me as an engagement present- Thanks Maria!) and pretty much slept with that baby under my pillow for the next nine months!

The boutonnieres at the top were inspired by the MSW mag. I used fabrics and foliage that supported my wedding theme (who knew there was such a thing, but apparently there is). The colors were orange, chocolate and turquoisey-blue-ish. As you can imagine my wedding was full of bright colors, and fall themed items, think fall on a farm and you kind of have an idea of what the big day looked like. With the help of my hubby, my pals, and my family we put together the wedding of my dreams! But can you believe it I forgot to take pictures of it all???

On the day of, and the days leading up to, I completely spaced out on that important detail. I guess I kept telling myself that I would take pictures later, and I lived that way all the way through to the Big Day. And on that day, well most women will agree, you can hardly remember to put your earrings on let alone document the day! That is what photographers are for, after all. And my photographers were amazing! But alas, I don't have a digital copy of their beautiful images, so here I present the few salvaged items I recently found.





These are the tulips we used as our centerpieces. We bought the tulips from the LA Flower District, and arranged them ourselves in glass milk bottles. The bottles were collected from the local grocer over a period of 6 months, and since I don't do dairy, my pals and hubby stepped up to the plate. The flowers were placed atop handmade fabric squares in fabric that also matched the color scheme, and the milk bottles were tied in coordinating ribbon.



These were the bouquets. No your eyes do not deceive you, there are indeed 8 bouquets. Yikes! The one tied in white ribbon was mine, and the other seven were for: 2 of Jonathan's sisters, and 4 of my pals, and one extra for the bouquet toss. We also bought these beauties at the flower district. My friend Paola, and my mom's childhood friend Karina put these bouquet's together. I actually copied Paola's wedding bouquets, which we also made ourselves, though she used deep purple carnations- gorgeous! So Paola was a pro at this, and I give her all the credit for making them turn out so lovely. They are exactly what I wanted!

For those who might be interested, Gerber daisies, and tulips are my favorite types of flowers! And I was so lucky that they came in orange, to match my wedding colors. These are just a few of the long list of things we made. If I can find more pictures I will post them, but that is all for now...Other handmade items included:
wedding veil
pew decorations
invitations
save the date cards
bridesmaid gifts
bride's evening shawl
tent decorations
pie/cake stands

That's all I can think of, but it is plenty! I am so glad I chose to go the D.I.Y. route, because now I feel more adventurous. I have learned that I really enjoy stamping, and scrap booking. I have learned that I can do much more than I thought with needles and thread. And most importantly I have learned that I really truly love doing these things. There is something so satisfying about working with your hands, and seeing your finished work. Just make something you really love, and the fun is therein. Go ahead, give it a try!

Birthday etc.

I turned 26 in January. I can round up to 30 now! And only I have 2 years left to try out for American Idol. Eeek! I better get my act together! Okay, not really, I don't have any inkling to try out for Americal Idol...well maybe a mild curiosity to see if Simon would tear me up. But that's it really, I promise. Still age is something that has been brought up to my attention recently. It sems the world around me is turning 30, consequently panic is setting in. Many of my friends have already crossed the milestone while some are on their last lap before they reach it. And it is apparently a sign that we are getting old(-er), and it forces us to ask those questions: What am I doing? What have I done with my life? My dreams?

The answers may not be what we imagined for ourselves, but there is still hope. I am so encouraged to see my friends struggle with these issues bravely, and stand up and say, "Life, you ain't seen nothin' yet!" I have friends making incredible decision to start families, friends who have decided to start their own businesses and to throw themselves whole-heartedly into it. Friends who are looking for love, and wondering if they missed their chance, but refuse to let that define them. And friends who are facing the truth, that maybe the dreams they had aren't what they want anymore, and have to fearlessly let those dreams go. You are all role models to me.

And where do I land in all of this? Well, I am headed back to school, while my friends are grappling with these decision, almost as if I were doing things backwards. And yet I too feel the weight of that number 30. As a woman it seems to mean more, it is a ticking clock reminding you to hurry up if you want that family. Because no matter how young I feel, my body will not wait for me. And I hear the words, "We had a miscarriage" "We are pregnant" "We bought a house" but, you see, I just am not ready for those words to come out of my own mouth. Now is not the time. Like in all other areas of my life, I am a slow bloomer, taking my time, discovering myself and my God as I go. And right now it seems I am to make some backward steps and head to school, and papers, and homework, and studying once again. And I feel a bit foolish about it, but my friends have been so supportive and sweet to me, encouraging me that going back to school is an investment in the future. So really they are steps forward, not backward. I know they are right, but I feel kinda left out nonetheless. Oh you damn emotions, will I ever master you!?!

So when I turned 26 I thought I should have been more panicked about it, but I wasn't. Things were definitely different, there was no big party, no balloons, not many presents, but the few I got were very special! One of the best presents ever was from my bestest bud Denise. She sent a package filled with special things that in the past I told her I was interested it, or things she thought I would love. She has spent the last couple of years hunting these things down for me, and this year she had it all ready in time for my brithday. NOTE: Getting a package in the mail is seriously one of the greates gifts ever! You feel so special, excited, just like a little kid!

So what was in the package? Can you tell from the image above? ... Give up? ... In no particular order we have:

Flight of Dragons- an animated film that has permanently affected Denise. Can't wait to be tranformed myself!
Waking Life- a film that Denise really liked, and that I have always wanted to see.
Their Eyes Were Watching God- a book that was spoken of highly in my American Lit class at CSUF. Also a staple in high school lit classes, but I never got to read. I am ready for this one, I have a journal picked out and everything, so I can fully experience the story!
Passing- another book that was highly recommended, about the life of an African American woman and her struggles with segregation. Why am I drawn to these heavy ones? Don't know but I can't wait to read her!
Debut- Bjork's first solo album, I stole this from Denise for a few years then gave it back to her last year, and now she got me my very own copy. She knows me well!
Penguin card- I love this card. The inside reads, "I love you this much!" Awww...go on!

How many did you guess right? Wasn't that just the best present ever?

So I guess 26, isn't so bad, and going back to school isn't so bad. And I just got married, so I am not ready for all the grown up stuff yet. Don't know if I ever will be. I have no idea what I would name my first child, haven't even thought about it. But I do know what I would name my first dog, Euky. Maybe this is a very telling thing about me and my future, maybe not. Meanwhile I got a lot of reading and movie watching to do...and if you need a break from all the grown up stuff, pull up a chair, there is always room in my home for you!

Life in a Fish Bowl: Reviews.

Last week I had my evaluation. All employees at my work have one. It's a time where your supervisor tells you how you have improved and how you can improve, then lets you know how much of a raise you get, if any. Our performance is rated on a 5 point system, 5 being perfect. Since no one is perfect, no one gets 5 points EVER. So the best we can shoot for is 4. This must be maddening to the perfectionists out there. Last year I was so upset by my score. I had only been there for a few months with pretty much no training, and I accidentally transferred 2 calls to the wrong person and for that I was docked. I earned a pathetic 2.6 points. And this really irritated me, for a long time. This year I am happy to say that I improved, I am now at 3 points. Big whoop!

Everyone assures me that this is a respectable score. You see 4s only are given out very rarely, and no one ever gets a 5, so 3 is practically a perfect score. Now I ask you, does this make any sense? Aren't we just asking our employees to be mediocre? Aren't we telling them that they will never be perfect, and that great is unrealistic, so good is good enough. What it all really comes down to is money. If I am given a high score, then the bank concedes that I am a valuable employee. If that is true then, I deserve to be compensated accordingly, which translates to $$$. So in an effort to save the company some money, the scale has been shifted slightly, 3 being good, 4 being for the exceptional employee, you know, that person who works 12-hour days, never takes a lunch and comes in on weekends. In this way we are trained to be happy with our meager points, and accept the lie that we aren't mediocre, but rather good or even great, though our raises reflect otherwise. Meanwhile the accepted fact is that everyone gets a 3, so it really doesn't matter if you are decent, okay, good or great because each of these is rewarded with a 3.

All this silliness. Corporate America, isn't it grand! And I am such a sheep to it all. I was happy that I improved, "Yeah! I'm a 3. I'm special!" But now that I think about it, the review was pointless, I didn't learn anything, except that I am better at transferring phone calls (well after a few months of self-training and trial and error, I hope I have learned how to do at least that!) and I got a small raise. I am grateful for the raise, I really am. And honestly, I should be. The truth is, they only need me to man the phones, and if not for that, they could do away with my position. I know this, and I was also reminded of it during my review. It makes me laugh, that it was brought up at all, but there you go. "You are a 3, you are great, btw, we don't really need you. Did I mention you are great?"

So all this rambling, has lead me to really consider my career. Are there areas that I excel in? Areas where my talents, skills, and passions all combine resulting in a more efficient and productive employee/career. Can I find a place where I might be more useful? More relevant? I am not sure if that place exists. Perhaps in the scale of things, that kind of job is a 5. No one EVER gets a 5, but I gotta reach for a 4, because a 3 just isn't cuttin' it!

Flexitarian? Wha' happen?

So I have been on a journey for the last year, trying to figure out my diet. I am trying to be intentional about what I put in my body, why I eat the way I do, and what effect does it all have any way? I really can't explain this sudden minute interest in something that, up until recently, has rarely been a concern, except that I do have some free time at work, and free time leads to thinkging, and thinking leads to all kinds of Trouble, with a capital T.

So about nine months ago I cut dairy out of my diet. Not completely, but mostly. I do make exceptions every now and again, but for the most part I live a milk, cheese, ice cream, yogurt, sour cream, and butter free life. This was a really hard adjustment to make, and I have had to resort to the vegan friendly item on most menus, because the vegetarian item is a cheesy dish. This decision was purely for health reasons, and I am happy to report that since the dairy boycott I don't use nearly as many medications as I used to. Hooray!!!

Having conquered the dairy dilemma, I felt I needed a bigger challenge. So now no meat, and when that gets boring I will try to live solely on AIR!!!! Just kidding. But I did make a conscious decision to try to eat less meat. Why?!?!? Well the answer could potentially be discussed for several hours as I map out for you the spiritual, social, and physical reasonings behind the decision, but to sum it all up for you, I feel bad about how animals are treated when farmed in mass production. So I want to avoid these meats, which pretty much means I will eat free range meats, sooooo I won't be eating meats a whole lot. To quote a friend who was mocking me, I will only eat animals that were "happy" before they were slaughtered. Isn't that just ironic of me. But there it is. This makes me a flexitarian.

Go ahead, make fun of me, mock me, stare at me incredulously. It's nothing my closest friends and family haven't done already. And while you are at it, go ahead and tell me your story of how you tried to live a vegetarian lifestyle only to fail miserably. Those stories are meant to encourage me, right??? I am in a place right now, where I feel convicted, and I feel that, thankfully, I can do something about it, or at least I can try. So I'm gonna.

Last night was the first night where I intentionally made a meatless dinner. We made rice and bean burritos, with grilled onions, peppers and sauteed mushrooms. We topped them with fresh vine tomatoes and avocado, all atop a flour tortilla. YUM!! Jonathan liked it so much, he said I should open a restaurant. I think I better try a few more dishes before I go that far, you know put the horse before the cart and all. But I am definitally encouraged. This will be hard, but not impossible.

But come on, don't you wanna bite? I call it Burrrito ala Guatemalan.

How do you express yourself creatively?

So a few weeks back Jonathan's friends were visiting from Alaska. Since they couldn't make it to our wedding, they wanted to take us out for dinner to celebrate. I was a wee bit nervous, because I always feel like such a kid around some of Jonathan's friends, like this couple. I know it's silly, they are only around five years older than I am, it really isn't that big of a difference as far as the numbers go, but it is more like they are older than in me in stages of life. See I just got married, they have been married for five plus years. They have two girls, I have have two plants. You see what I mean? There is a stage of life that they have entered that suddenly makes them more mature. Like when my little brother had a son, suddenly he was the sage elder imparting wisdom on my life. Maybe I am too synical, maybe in these life stages so much growth happens that you really do mature exponentially. I dunno. Still I can't help but feeling like a high school kid, happily reading comics, and researching new bands, and living with relatively few responsibilities, while people around my age are buying houses, having babies, or planning on having babies. I don't regret my life, I am happy with it, but I can't explain this sense of inferiority when I interact with these "adults". Ah, silly girl, you are just a slow blooming flower, and even when you do bloom, you will likely be a bright orange in a mostly lavender field.

Well on to the the dinner. The dinner was YUM! We went to a British Pub and I had a cornish pasty, with mashed potatoes, and steamed veggies. So good. And we were all so stuffed that we shared a sticky toffee pudding for dessert. Yes, I broke my dairy fast for this tempting dish. So worth it! We didn't want the night to end, so we went to a nearby jazz bar and had a few drinks, and chatted the night away.

It was during this time of conversation that the question posed in the title was asked of me. We had been discussing the musical career and endeavors of my husband, and then of his sister, both talented songwriters and musicians. I also have dabbled in music, and to this I believe the friends were hinting when they asked me, "So, Susanne, how do you express yourself creatively?" And I , in my most sincere tone, replied, "Oh, I crochet, and I craft." Their expressions quickly moved from interest to confusion. Noting their perplexed countenances, I realized, my reponse was unexpected, and dare I say it, even unbelievable. Crochet??? Can that really be considered a form of creative exression??? Admittedly it lacks the glamour that acting, dancing, or songwriting maintain, and it might even evoke images of granny sitting in a rocking chair watching day-time soaps, BUT that was my honest initial response.

After this flub, I tried to defend the craft, and show them how it is a valid art form. But that was going nowhere, so I cleared my throat and said, "And I write songs and sing too." And there it was, the response they wanted. And we then were able to have a short discussion about my creative endeavors, you know the legitimate ones.

Funny thing is , I really believe that crochet and music are wonderful creative outlets for me. I love them both. I enter seasons with each. There are seasons when, if I have any free time, I have my guitar in hand and I belt out songs that make me cry, much to my neighbor's dismay, I am sure. And there are seasons when I just can't stop crocheting, and I am adventurously trying new and more complicated patterns, adjusting them here and there so that they suit my fancy, and loving it! Both are true forms of creative expression, for me anyway. How about you? How do you express yourself creatively? I promise not to judge. *wink*

This is how I expressed myself creatively this week:

Not bad, huh?

New Year's, Seattle and Nicolas

This year for New Year's we celebrated in Seattle, WA. It was Jonathan's third trip to the Pacific northwest in 2007, and my second. Last time I was there, it was for our honeymoon in Oregon, and it was during a wind storm. It pretty much rained the whole time. And it was forcasted to rain our whole trip to Seattle also, but it was surprisingly dry. It rained the first day and then not again until after we left. Granted it was a short trip, so it was really only 2 and half days sans rain. But I still appreciated it.

We went up to meet Jonathan's new nephew, Nicolas. I guess he is my new nephew too now. Anyway, it was kinda of like a mini-reunion, since Jonathan's parents were also visiting. Isn't it amazing how babies can unite people? I have seen this in my own family. The different generations gather around the tiny person being cradled, waiting for their turn to hold him, or just watching in wonder at how small the child is. This trip was an especially uniting one because of Nicolas.

Isn't he cute!! And he loves to be held. And there certainly wasn't a lack of arms waiting for their chance to hold him. The family was split between two homes. The Van Essen home, where my mother and father-in-law were staying, and the Nascimento home, where Jonathan and I were staying. But no matter the two different locations we all gathered together to spend time with Maile and Nicolas. And that is the magic of babies. Oh little one, you can't possibly know how loved you already are, and what a difference you have already made in this family.

I could go on and on about Nicolas, but I think you may have had your fill. So onward we go. Though this was my first trip to Seattle, there was a bit of pressure on me to like it. You see, my wonderful traveler of a husband has an itching to move out of sunny SoCal and he has his eye set on the Pacific northwest. Seeing as how I couldn't see myself in Portland, he was really anxious about Seattle. Now, aren't you curious to see how I felt about Seattle??? Perhaps these images may shed some light:

Such a pretty view. Wanna See what we're looking at?

Urban culture?? He he he...

Pike's Place: Don't I just look like a Seattle-ite?

Set of Howl's Moving Castle. Doesn't it kinda remind you of that?

Beautiful lake/park.

Beautiful family.

So what is the verdict? Well I really had a great time in Washington. And I really enjoyed Seattle, and yes I could see myself living there. Maybe someday in the future. There are some things I want to take care of here before I move. But for now, SoCal is my home, and though there are elements of being here that drive me crazy (refer to smog entry) this desert land has it's own beauty. We had a few rainy days recently and the skies were clear, and it was so beautiful. I stare out in wonder and dream of what this land must have looked like before the sprawling cities. There is definitely something attractive about it, something that beckons people to come and stay.

So I started January 1st, 2008 in Seattle, then boarded a plane and spent the evening that same day in Los Angeles/Anaheim. My parents say that whatever you are doing on new Year's is how you will spend the rest of that year. So who knows, maybe there were will be more trips up north or maybe I will be traveling. Maybe Jonathan and I will spend more time than ever with his family. Only time will tell.

It was a great trip. I absolutely love that little boy, Nicolas, and for the first time, I felt like I might actually be a part of Jonathan's family. Both Nicolas and I are new additions, and we will have to find and carve out our place here. But it is a good family, and we are lucky. Aren't we little one?