Three things: two funny one not

1. Last Friday I attended my nephew's preschool graduation. Have I ever told you that I am a sucker for graduations? Weddings and graduations. I will cry like a baby at both of these even if I don't know anyone involved. You just need to know that. It is not a strength of mine, and in fact is something I knowingly mock myself about as the tears are rolling! So here I am at a preschool graduation telling my hubby about how stupid it is that we have a graduation for preschool. There should really only be a graduation from high school and college, in my opinion. I think all the graduation from preschool and kindergarten and elementary school and Jr. high is all just a money-making ploy to get people to buy more crap, like cards and decoration and grad robes, etc. Yes, all the preschoolers had bought their own grad robes, that will not fit them in about 3 months?!?! Anyway, there I am complaining about how redonkulous this all is and my eyes are filling with tears as the little ones are singing about friendship, and the ABC's. Sheesh! I tell ya, I am such a sap!

2. At this graduation the teacher had the children come up and asked them for their name and what they wanted to be when they grow up. A few of the children said doctors, animal doctors, singers... you know the typical cute responses. What did my nephew say? Well it went some thing like this:

"And what's you name?"

"Kaison"

"And what do you want to be when you grow up?

"Ninja!"

I laughed so hard. So did everyone else. It was an honest and sincere answer, and I am sure Kaison had no idea why everyone was laughing, because he really believes right now in his heart that he will one day be a ninja, master of martial arts and powerful fighter! Kids are fantastic, their world so simple, and full of infinite potential and imagination! Ninja!!! Duh! Why didn't I study that?!?!? That job rocks!!! And I hear the benefits aren't bad either :)

3. In response to this my hubby said, "I hope someone caught that on tape, so that one day if he is failing a class in high school we can show him this tape and tell him 'Kaison, Ninjas do no fail history, bring up those grades.'" But the sad truth is that this idea of Ninja will transform and shift until it finds a realistic counterpart, which in my neighborhood means gang member/cholo. No longer something noble, and worthy of respect. Not something you achieve through hard work and training, but something that rules by fear, that forces "respect"through violence, that perverts honor. Isn't that what Satan does, he takes things we dream of and perverts them, and defiles them so that we don't even recognize the innocence anymore. Why can't Kaison be a Ninja? God made a shepherd a king, a murderer the leader of the exodus, a virgin the mother of God... He can help Kai do the impossible, and I will pray that this dream not be perverted by the one who seeks to destroy. Go Ninja! Go Ninja! Go! (Turtle power anyone?)

Confession: Nanalan'

Well it has been one week and a few days since I finished my last final. I should be looking for work, but alas, I can't seem to find the motivation. It's not like I am just sleeping all day long. In fact, I can't seem to sleep. A bit of insomnia I guess. Jonathan thinks that it is due to me not going to bed early enough, but I think it is that I am not completely burned out from an exhausting (both physically and mentally) day at school. But I have been busy making stuff (necklaces, actually, I will try to post photos of them soon), and cleaning, and balancing my finances (it had been a while since I'd done that- never fun to wait that long to figure out how poor you really are). And while I've been bustling about, I have been reunited with an old love of mine. Here comes the confession, are you ready for it... I LOVE children's programming on PBS, well just in general. I love love LOVE children's television. 

I think this passion started late for me. I don't remember watching much TV when I was a kid, and I really didn't like Mr. Roger's Neighborhood (booooring- BUT I love it now!), or Sesame Street. I did watch those, at least enough to recall the pinball numbers reference in The Family Guy from Sesame Street. And I did watch enough Reading Rainbow to know the theme song by heart. "Butterfly in the sky, I can fly twice as high..." You know you love that song. But it wasn't until I was too old for those shows that I really started eating them up. I could not get enough Fraggle Rock! "Dance your cares away, clap clap,  Worries for another day, Let the music play, clap clap, Down at Fraggle Rock!" 

But it seems that as I get older, I like the show for the even younger audiences, like between the ages of 2-5. I loved Teletubbies. There I've admitted it! I know all the teletubbies' names. And I love It's a Big Big World, In Between the Lions, Clifford, etc. I think this love began during the summers, when I had loads of free time, and it wasn't a safe neighborhood to just go around running and playing, so I was stuck inside. I remember waking up and watching Under the Umbrella Tree on the Disney chanel followed by Dumbo's Circus, and Adventures in Wonderland. As I got older, I continued to watch the children's programming before I left for school in the morning. I remember in high school I hated watching the news, so I watched just long enough to get the weather forecast then promptly switch over to PBS and watched Zaboomafoo, everyday. I can't explain it, I just love this stuff. And now with some free time on my hands, I have rekindled this passion.

This week I was introduced to the world of Nanalan', starring Mona and Nana and Russell the dog. Meet Mona:

This show is fabulous!!! I can't explain to you how much I love it. It is a cross between Homestar Runner and Mrs. Doubtfire. It is about this almost-3-year-old girl and her adventures everyday at her Nana's house. At the end of the episode her mother comes to pick her up from work. Mona speaks in grunts and partial phrases. She express surprise and awe at the simplest things, and makes mistakes (like being too aggressive out of sheer excitement when she gets to play with Nana's pet bird). The entire show is a bright and colorful puppeteer's heaven. I am realizing that I really love shows with puppets! 

I think I love this show so much because it reminds me of my youth. Mom had to work. I understand, and I am so grateful for the sacrifice she made, going back to work when I was just six weeks old. And more importantly, I am so proud of her! Of her dedication to her work, for achieving so much and being so damn good at her job. For putting in those rough hours and coming home to go to work yet again making us kids a meal and dealing with disciplining. I am so so proud of her, for doing it all, and doing it with grace. She is my hero! And, you know what, I was not tarnished, or ruined, or neglected because of her time away from me. Maybe that is why I love Nanalan' so much. It more closely reflects the lives of modern children. 

I have noticed this trend as more and more shows have a single parent. It isn't something explicitly explained or mentioned, it just simply is. It is a natural part of the world, both in our "real" world and the TV world. And while this world is not ideal, the beauty of these shows is that the world is still special and exciting and fun! It is still good. It is simple, and safe, and still a world I want to live in. These shows promise adventure, and remind me that the world is magical to an open and innocent mind. I am addicted. There I've confessed, and it feels good!

I'm Back!

A picture of me and my family (yes, Sara, you are family) at my credential "graduation".

Well, friends, I am back! After a long 11 months I am back. And it is good to be back. Should I bore you with the minute details of these last months? I can, you know…hello? Okay, I am not that cruel. Here it is, the condensed soup version: I completed my course work for the teaching specialist program at Cal State University, Fullerton. It was harder than I ever thought it would be, but it was also a wonderful experience. I went through the accelerated program so I could be done in two semesters. To complete this program you join a cohort and you are stuck in that cohort for the remainder of the program. Us Day-Blockers, as we called ourselves, saw each other more than we saw our own families. In fact, we spent so much time together we were our own little dysfunctional family; we loved each other and we hated each other. In fact two of our professors made that exact comment about our Day-Block; they could tell who got on whose nerves, who was the loud-mouth, who was the peacemaker, etc. But we made it through! Phew! Now all I have left is to pass a test, so keep those fingers crossed, the test is on June 13^th.

And that pretty much covers my life in the recent past. It has been school, school, school, work, school, sleep, school, cry, school, try to exercise, school… and now I am totally in relax mode. I need to get off my lazy rear and start looking for work. Which, by the way, is the first question anyone asks you when you graduate: Do you have a job yet? Are you looking for a job now? … Ugh! Let me breathe for a second, or at least ask a more thoughtful question, like “What was the hardest part of the program?” “What was the best?” “Tell me about your student teaching experience.”  It seems like people are in such a rush to put me in a box for the future. I know that they are just being nice and asking the socially expected question, but seriously people, I barely finished a life-changing program, stop asking me about tomorrow as though what I just endured was not interesting. It was, I promise you, it really was. I have some great stories to share, some great info to pass on. So ask me about it now that I am still inspired before the cynicism sets it.

But to answer the question, am I looking for work? No, not right now. I’m taking a class this summer and I’m really excited about it. But, in short, this class has nothing to do with teaching. It is a class for me, for my creativity, for my need to learn about art. I don’t know what I expect to gain from this class, except maybe better perspective on my life and what path I would like to take. I know, I know, I just got my teaching credential, why on earth am I confused about what path I am taking next??? But if I understood myself well enough to make the obvious decision I would not be a 27 year old barely getting her teaching credential, I would be a 27 year old with a Masters degree on her way to getting her doctorate. I am learning to let the inner voice within have authority in my life, to trust that God is my provider, and to believe that my life here is temporal, and if I am willing, there is a grand adventure He is calling me to. I want to be willing, and I am working on that!

And friends did I mention that it is great to be back!

Back in the saddle again!

I am back at school. I signed up to take 2 summer school courses. I finished my first about four weeks ago, and I am almost done with the second. I was a bit rusty at it, and it took me about five weeks to get used to the pace of things. It is hard but good.

For the first time in my life I am in classes where the instructors are telling us that we can make a difference, we can change the world one student at a time. How empowering is that! I am so blessed to be in these classes. It is good that I decided to take these summer school courses now, because once the semester starts it won't be as idealistic, but more nose to the grindstone. It is a two semester program and I will be taking 19 units each semester. Yikes! So pray for me whenever you think of me. I will need the support and strength. I am a little nervous, but I am motivated by the students.

Which brings me to another point. Recently people have been saying, "Wow you really have a calling to work with this population" (I am studying to be a special education teacher) I don't really know what to do with comments like that. I am frankly offended by those words. The population I am choosing to work with are people, and aren't we all called to minister to people? For this reason I find this comment confusing. In the past, society has segregated this population and banished them, and the stigma of those actions still remains. They really aren't that strange or difficult. They are just different. Trust me I have interacted with all sorts of people, and I would gladly choose to hang out with some people with disabilities over some people without disabilities.

So is this a calling? I don't know. I don't think it is any more of a calling than the same urges I feel to give money to the homeless, shelter orphans, protect the abused, heal the sick, and feed the hungry. It is a calling to love those who bear the image of God. A calling to love those He loved so dearly He willingly died for. Yes I am seeking out a degree that will equip me to work in a particular community, but I see opportunities abounding around me to love. My neighbors, my peers, my coworkers. Is this not also a calling? And I am also ready and aware that at any moment God may lead me to Africa, England, or Latin America to love on people in His name. I look forward to it! So please understand the subtle insult aimed at those with disabilities that is embedded in those words "Wow you really have a calling to work with this population". They demand no more of me and you than any other group, and they are just as precious and valued in God's eyes.

I have not been called to work with the defiled and disgusting. I have been called to love a people who are worthy to be loved and to break down the walls of banishment and segregation. Weren't we all called to this? I have been called to fight for justice and truth! And I would gladly do the same for you if ever you need it.

Good News and Bad News...

Well let's start with the bad new, more like sad news...

So my container garden that I have been proudly updating you on, well something has gone terribly wrong. Let me remind you of the family I was growing. We had Ms. Strawberry, Ms. Tomato, Mr. Pepper, Mr. Cucumber, Ms. Okra, the twin Misses Basils, and Mr. Cilantro (technically I also tried to raise a Mr. Chives, but that was a failure I don't like to think about). Okay now you remember them all, right? So here is the bad news... I can't even bear to tell you! Just scroll down.

This was baby Basil. Now there is only one of the twins left. There used to be full green leaves on here! Can you tell what happened? Let me give you a hint.

Caterpillars!!!! It happened over night. One day I was commenting on how big the basil leaves were getting and how I would probably buy some pizza dough to make a yummy basil and tomato pizza (dairy-free of course! I swear they taste GOOD!) then the next morning I come out to water the kiddies and... the horror! Meanwhile the caterpillar just looked up at me and smiled! Can you believe that?!?!? He had the audacity to thank me for the yummy dinner! Now I know why farmers use pesticides. All that time and energy and resources, and it's robbed from you just like that.

I managed to save one of the basils, and she is doing fine now, but I have resorted to a caterpillar pesticide. I'm not proud to admit that, and I did feel guilty as I sprayed my leaves with the poison. It was a tough decision to make. The little buggers decimated my cilantro, so Ms. Basil is all I have left of my herbs. 

I wish that was all, but I have saved the worst of my bad news for last. Are you seated? Good. Mr. Cucumber is terminally ill. Oh it kills me to say it! He was flourishing, I mean really growing super fast! And big! And green! And lush! I was the proudest of Mr. Cucumber. Then slowly I noticed spots, and the leaves and stems began to die off. Through the process of elimination (I made many attempts to treat potential diseases) I have finally concluded that Mr. Cucumber has bacterial wilt. There is no treatment for it, he's a goner. It is depressing to walk outside and look at him. And three cucumbers were starting to grow too! But they also will be taken by the disease. I think I will remove him this weekend...So sad. 

But not everything was lost. The strawberry, tomato and peppers are still doing good. And the salvaged basil is doing better than ever.

 

Jonathan and I have been eyeing the tomatoes and eating them as soon as they become ripe. They are tiny but tasty!

What a learning experience! If not for the tomatoes, and Jonathan's constant encouragement, I would have given up. I still feel a bit like a failure. But I haven't thrown the towel in yet, and I have learned some tricks along the way. So maybe next year it will be better... one can only hope.

Still Alive...and growing!

Remember about a month ago when I posted about my herb and vegtable garden??? Well this is an update for you all. I am sad to say that the chives did not survive. Well they never actually started. I couldn't get those babies to sprout! However everything else is just exploding!



This is my cilantro. Can you believe it?!?! Compare to here for the full effect! I think I should start eating them now. But I am not sure. How long do you let these guys grow??? Anyone know? I am clueless. Maybe I should pick a few to see if they are ready...



Oh and look at my tomoato plant! It is sooooo tall! I can't believe it! Tomato is going through puberty right now. Growing fast and tall, towering over his siblings, and his voice is starting to change too. Pretty soon he'll be headed off to college. Again compare to the last garden post. The tomato plant is the pot to the right.




So here they are. My kiddies. The cucumber plant is a bit bossy! That was surprising. It is shoving it's way around everyone. I might have to trim it a bit back, because it is now hogging all the sunlight the strawberries get. Or maybe I will just have to reposition all the plants. Ocra is short and small, but I wonder if that isn't because cucumber has overtaked the pot (they share a pot). Tomato is tall and getting taller, it out grew the tomato cage. Strawberries are short but stubborn. The basil is slow to grow and it doesn't help that there is some kind of insect that keeps taking a bite out of my 2 basil leaves >:( Now I understand pesticided! Grrr! And cilantro has an unruly mane, but I think it is ready for a trim.

There you have it. Maybe next time there will be fruit and veggies!!! I can't wait!

Flowers and 6 more to go!

May 10th marked our sith month anniversary. Jonathan said that this is the only mid year anniversary we get to celebrate :oP And to celebrate he gave me money to buy myself some flowers. Isn't he sweet? Giving me another chore to do. Just kidding. It was WONDERFUL!!!


I went to the Flower District of Orange County in Santa Ana. It really doesn't compare to the LA Flower District, but it was a great way to spend my morning. I actually had planned to go to pick up flowers for all the mothers in my family. We were having a BBQ to celebrate Mother's Day. I chose the pretty little thing below for all the moms.


But we had so many left over I got to keep some. I picked out the ranculous above and also some white tulips for myself. They were so beautiful, and they made my home look beautiful, and they made my heart smile. Six months went by in the blink of an eye. I can't believe we are half way through our first year?!?! The older I get the quicker time seems to pass. Flowers remind me to slow down, smell the...roses (or tulips). So here they are for you, to encourage you to pause and take a moment to breathe and relax, and enjoy those beautiful things in life that too often go unnoticed.